Wednesday, April 18, 2018

“What would you do with a million dollars?"

via Instagram

The prompt for the #wickedwednesday meme this week is “what would you do with a #milliondollars πŸ€‘ 
I have no idea! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜ˆ  
πŸ“Έ: @milliondollar.girls 

Well, that was my Instagram post... but let's get real: we all know what we'd do with a million dollars. We'd throw a kick ass party. give some to our close friends and family to help them out, buy ourselves some toys (new shoes! a kick ass car! a boat!), and if we're sensible we'll pay down some debt. And if we're smart we'll pay down all our debt.

Putting aside a little for a kick ass vacation of course, because we deserve it!!

I know that's what most of you will probably say you'll do because that's what most people who win the lottery do with their money. First they say "I'm not gonna let it change me!" and then they blow it. Some in a year if they're really stupid, others in 5 - 10years. And then they're back where they started.

I know this is meant to be a 'fun' question, and we should give 'fun' answers, so I apologize for giving the 'no fun' answer: what you should do with a million dollars is pay down your debts and invest the rest, so you have an additional income.

I know because I already have a million dollars.

More in fact. But I earned it, over 30 years, so it wasn't just handed to me in a jumbo check like on Powerball or something. I was born in social housing, to parents who were on social assistance, now I'm lucky enough not to have to worry about anything. I have a roof over my head, there's always food on the table, and we take a family vacation once or twice a year. That's more than most of you I know, but don't hate me. People with money are the same as people without money. They can be as nice or mean or as happy or unhappy as everyone else.

Why? Because Money can't buy you love. The Beatles said it and so did May More. And now I'm telling you too. You've read my other blog posts, you know I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy because I'm not as sexually intimate as I want to be with my wife. And yet I have money. I could afford to see a prostitute if I wanted to and pay for the sex I'm not getting at home. No-one would know and the problem would be solved, right?

Except it doesn't work like that. I want to be with my wife, but she doesn't want me (sexually) and that makes me sad. And money can't fix that (besides, she has more money than me). The good news is that I've turned a corner, almost. As they say in AA: "give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". I can't make my wife want me so it's better I accept that and move on.

Better than the alternative at least. My wife thinks I'm overweight (I am) and should have lap band surgery to make me slimmer. I don't want to do that because [a] it's dangerous (I’m not obese, so this would be elective cosmetic surgery - my wife wants me to do it in Cuba or Asia so we/she can have a vacation at the same time) [b] it doesn't always work (many people just regain the weight eventually) [c] I don't want to go through all that and find out she still doesn't want me after all. (Much like women who get boob jobs, only to find their man still aint fucking them any more than they used to)

I guess with all my money I could get a personal trainer, but I've been there and done that. I did pilates too, for about 8 months. Made no difference at all. I am what I am.


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)


  1. Thank you for that powerfully honest post. You kept it real - I admire you for that ;-)

  2. Very wise words Nero. Thank you for your honesty and your insight into what money can and cannot by. As I was reading this I was listening to some music, on my headphones, from the Matrix and I found the whole effect incredibly moving. Bravo Nero for being such a straight and honest guy.

  3. This post made me sad. Sad, because your wife wants you to have surgery, because she doesn't accept you like you are. Like you say, there's no guarantee things will be better sexually if you do have surgery, but even then, I don't think it's fair of her to expect you to have the surgery. I'm sorry that you're unhappy :(

    Rebel xox

    1. To be fair, she’d eased up on it the past few months. But for a while she was ‘subtly’ telling me about people she knew who had had it done, and once we even had dinner with a guy who’d had it done, so he could tell me how great it was. (But it had the opposite effect on me 😁

  4. Very real, honest and so much truth in here. That is proof for sure what money cant buy you. I think you're right not to have the surgery for all the reasons you state. Cant you get yourself a personal trainer who likes like one of your Million dollar girls?! That might motivate you (and motivate your wife into sharpening up over taking her man for granted!) Pilates will not help you lose weight - it lengthens your muscles, strengthens your core and improves your posture, I doubt many people do more than tone up a bit from doing it.

    Positive hugs Nero, there are lots of us in Twitter land who are rooting for a change for you! x

    1. I did have a personal trainer once, twice a week for six months. Almost zero change at the end of it, which puzzled me. She had me do workouts in her home gym (a professional set up, in her basement) but after ‘getting me started’ she would go upstairs, and then reappear every 20 minutes or so to check on me.

  5. UPDATE - I’m not as depressed as it may seem in this post. (Maybe thats the upside to having money, I can always afford a chocolate donut if I want one!!) Once I ‘let go’ of the sex thing I’ve been happier. Once you stop zeroing in on the one thing you don’t have, you start to realise what you do have.

  6. This was certainly a painfully honest post, and I feel for you. I do like Posy's solution though, sounds like your last PT was pretty crap. I've always felt that money can't buy happiness, your post certainly points in that direction. All the very best.

  7. I feel for you, too. And I get it, from the other side. I know my husband has been in your shoes far too often in our marriage, and like I've said before, reading posts from you and other men who are living in sexless marriages opens my eyes and keeps me on point. I only wish your wife was reading blogs like yours so she'd get the picture. Of course, I don't know what it is that is keeping her from wanting sex. It can be a million things. For me, I never really knew, even though I tried to fix it in so many ways. I hope things turn around for you at some point.


We welcome comments but hate SPAM. If you are a spammer we will not only delete you but actively report you as well.
We encourage frank robust discussion on all subjects within our blog but NO hate speech will be allowed. Again, we will actively report this.