Sunday, May 20, 2018

Don't do Drugs - #SinfulSunday

The placement of this picture will become apparent shortly

So we went out last night (Friday) to one of my wife's BNG buddies place in town 'for drinks'. He has an apartment in the city directly overlooking the water so its pretty swell. We were supposed to be there at 6.30pm because it was just 'a casual thing' and 'NOT a dinner thing' so we made sure to be there no earlier than 7pm which was nice because we got to see the sun set.

There were only a dozen people there but half of them were BNG. The other half were friends of the other half and all knew about BNG (no, I'm not explaining it now - click the tag/label 'BNG' and figure it out from a previous posts). Everyone was about 25-45, making us the oldest people. But people think we're about 45-48 so all's good. My wife was offered a glass from the bottle of red she brought, and I had a beer. A couple of others arrived, also BNG. 

These guys weren't drinking (aside from RedBull) because that 'Retreat' they'd all just been on (but not me) had been so inspiring - the'd taken onboard the idea/challenge to make the coming year a year of transformation. To change past behaviors and live a more meaningful life. This meant the two new guys weren't drinking alcohol that night - indeed, they'd challenged eachother to not drink any alcohol until Christmas and there was a big wager riding on it.

Hey, that's very laudable, seriously, and {YAY!} that means more beer for me - win/win!

So within 20 minutes Mr Redbull came over and asked me if I want to do some MDMA.  I'm thinking "WTF happened to this leading a clean sober and more meaningful life BS you just told us?" but instead I said "You mean ecstasy? You've got some?". To which he replied "yeah, I bought a bag of powdered Molly, you want some?"

Hey, when I did that stuff last century it was always in tablet/pill form so immediately I was thinking "aw shit, am I expected to snort it?" but instead I said "I'm not sure if my wife would let me do that" because my wife is a senior member of BNG and on their Board and I'm not sure if she wants her husband doing MDMA while all her BNG buddies are there. (Never mind that the guy offering was BNG too, right?)

So the guy walks up to my wife and asked her if she'd like some, and she says "No, I'm fine I'll stick to wine thanks". So the guy then says "Is it okay if Nero has some then? Is he allowed? He said you wouldn't let him!" I'm standing about ten feet away thinking "WTF?!" but my wife now has to decide whether she follows through on what she tells me at home ie "I'm (meaning 'we') too old for that shit, I'd much rather prefer a bottle of wine - it's legal and I can get just as happy as with illegal drugs. Besides, you never really know what's in them do you, it's risky isn't it? Not worth it" 

All of which is true. You can't travel too far with a drug conviction on your Passport.

But instead of saying that, because she's on the spot now (is she gonna be 'cool' in front of all these young people, or is she gonna be Little Miss Dowdy Old Lady Fiftysomething and screw up her nose in disapproval?) she chose neither and instead said nonchalantly "Oh god he's old enough to do what he likes, doesn't bother me."  Yippee! That means Nero can jump in his Time Machine and go back the 90s! (And the 80s as I'd discover later)

But I didn't. I went over to Mr RedBull. He'd returned to his previous spot at the dining table where he pulled out his baggie and scooped up a small amount with a knife, tipped it into a champagne glass then added a small dollop of water. "Take that!" he said as he swirled the water in the glass, mixing the powder, and then offering it up to me: "Get that down ya!"

But I didn't fall for it. 

My wife never did drugs when we were young, even when I mixed with the Rave crowd in the 90s and Ecstasy was everywhere. I did it once at a gay club - she said she wouldn't but I could and she would look after me. So I popped one and got an instant hard on when it came on and I was rock fucking hard on the dance floor, so I shoved her hand in my crotch to prove just how hard I was, and then she stroked it so I was grinding on her front and back on the dance floor, and she was grinding back, and it felt really good, and I said we should find a toilet to fuck in, and she said no we should go home and fuck there, and I said nofuckingwaythisstuffisawesome! And then I grabbed her and said we were going back to Da Man to get some more, because she just had to try it.

At which point my wife grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the club and took me home and we had sex. For a long time. Because I was loved up and hard as hell. For the longest time. My dick was bigger and harder than any of those three little maids pictured above (but that's still not the reason for the picture, so keep reading)

So I told Mr RedBull thanks, I was fine, maybe later but not right now, because despite what my wife had just said I knew she didn't like seeing me do drugs (or doing them either, I suppose). And because I was a bit buzzy on the beer I went fishing and said "we just have a weird relationship in that regard - she doesn't like seeing me doing them, and I yet I know that she occasionally does them with you BNG guys when I'm not there. It's just this thing - she doesn't want to see me doing it and she doesn't want me seeing her do it. So we do it behind each others backs. It's crazy, I know".

I was fishing because I don't know for sure -  I'm just guessing she does the odd line or pill with the guys (I've told you about her severe FOMO). My fishing trip was rewarded: "Yeah, it got pretty wild in China. That last night. We couldn't believe that Aussie guy was mad enough to bring coke into China for fucks sake. Man, that last night at the compound got so fucking wild. And then he started racking up in your wife's ensuite! Fuck! We all asked him what the fuck he was doing - there were spare empty guest villas and yet he uses your wife's personal living space?" 

"Yeah," I replied, "but that didn't stop all of you getting in there and doing a line or three did it?"

I was still fishing with that. My wife had told me about the Aussie using her bathroom for the coke but said he did it solo and left when she told him off.

"Yeah", he continued "Well we had to get all that stuff outta your wife's bedroom so we figured it was the quickest safest way." He laughed, then looked over at my wife and laughed again. I know my wife and when she told me the story the first time she was kinda chuckling because it was 'naughty' - but then got all stern and faux-angry: "Can you believe that Aussie guy?"  But BNG consider themselves the  Live Hard Play Hard types, so I don't think anyone was really too mad. He sure as hell wasn't taking that coke home was he?

Anyway, I said thanks but left Mr RedBull to it. I walked over to get another beer and the Host of the party intercepted me. He's also BNG and says to me "You okay? Do you want something else?" I told him the beer was good, and I was fine, but he persisted. "I've got some coke if you wanna do a line or two. You and [my wife] are welcome to it".  

I couldn't fucking believe it! Honestly these BNG guys are so Type A competitive - I've got one guy in once corner trying to give me MDMA and another guy in the opposite corner offering me cocaine! WTF?!!  See, back in my day we were kinda discreet about these things but both of these guys had a big white dinner plate in front of them with their respective powder of choice emptied out on the plate - in front of everyone!

It was hilarious and of course I told the Host the same thing I'd told Mr RedBull: "not in front of my wife, she doesn't like seeing me do that sort of thing, but maybe later." The latter is added so they don't lose face and think you're some wowser puritan who thinks recreational drugs are bad m'kay? So I watched as about eight of the fourteen people in the room gravitated to one dinner plate or the other (and some greedy cats did both) during the next 10 minutes. It goes so fast!

So about ten minutes after that the Host pulls me into a bedroom, with an ensuite, and shows me the two lines he's racked up. He hands me a fifty dollar note and says "these are for you." 

"Both?" I replied, and proceeded to hoover them up, one down each nostril. The burn and the drip were almost immediate and I have to say I enjoyed it immensely. I wasn't high but it was nice little toot and it immediately took me back to my younger days - when were were wild and young and free, to misquote some rapper who's name I've forgotten.

So we come out of the bedroom and Mr RedBull is standing right outside the door, waiting with two champagne flutes. "Get these down ya!" he says, and thrust them at us both. Honestly I did think it was champagne, and I wondered why the pour was so small. As I slugged mine down I realized it was water with MDMA mixed in. So that was that.

I became energized and started talking to everyone, which my wife loves, because she is always off talking to everyone herself, by herself, and usually leaves me standing in the kitchen at parties. Like Jonah Lewie. In no time at all (but it was probably longer) Mr RedBull came over and offered me more MDMA. Not wanting to seem an asshole I went over to his little spot at the dining table, with his dinner plate, and watched as he simply poked the tip of a cutlery knife into his baggie, tipped a smudge into a champagne flute, and then added a splash or three of water. 

You could totally tell he thought he was Walter White in 'Breaking Bad' - it was hilarious. 

He offered me the flute and I said no, and started asking him how he could say he was on a quest to live a clean and sober life until Christmas, but here he was doing ecstasy... but he wasn't listening. He held up the flute and shouted over to my wife who was standing at the kitchen island bench with her BNG bestie (female): "Hey [Mrs Nero] do you want another top up?" 

My wife did not look mortified. She looked like someone trying not to look mortified. She told him "No thanks" and then turned and resumed her conversation with her bestie. Since she wasn't looking I grabbed the flute and swallowed it. Mr RedBull laughed. 

"I told you she'd do one if I wasn't there to see it" I said laughing back at him, even though I was really fishing again. Searching for clues as to whether my wife really did do drugs with her BNG buddies. 

"Yeah," laughed Mr RedBull again "as soon as you and [the Host] went into that bedroom Kim [my wife's bestie] came over with your wife and they both had one each. You know those two are trouble when they get together!"

I did indeed. Kim was single and loved to make mischief. And live it up. Party it up. With my wife as her partner in crime.

I also decided I would not continue with this farce any longer. During the course of the night I did six lines, and probably as much Molly, off those dinner plates. Openly. 

I definitely felt them both but the MDMA felt different. My dick was not hard. I stood at the island bench with both hands clamped to the bench and my teeth gritted together. They weren't grinding though, so I was able to talk coherently, and in fact (I'm not making this up even tho' its so frikken cliche) people were very engaged with me and started talking about what a cool guy I was and then when my wife came over (after pretty much mingling solo all night - albeit only 14-16 people there) they'd tell her what a cool guy I was... no, a seriously cool guy!!

They would get all insistent that my wife know I was a cool guy, and why I was a cool guy. And my wife would say "Yes, my husband is soooo cool" and then she'd put her arms around me and say "I'm so lucky to have him, we've been together 25+ years!" Which is the other person's cue to say "Noooo!" and "OMG how old are you then?". Which is their other cue to say "Nooooo! OMG you don't look it, I thought you were only XYZ" which my wife fucking loves hearing.

I loved it too, because I thought they were all hilarious. Hilarious as in, I'm laughing at you, not with you. I've always said I felt the BNG was like a cult, and they're mostly all entitled wankers who think they're the new face of business when in fact they're just the same as the old face - but younger and with better tech. So when a crowd assembled and some idiot said "Omigod this party is really awesome I'm having such great discussions with everyone, you know like real conversations about real things..." and then everyone cooed and agreed and said yes twice just to confirm they all agreed that this was a pretty damn good party and we're all keeping it real... bro.

And then I said... "No, you're not. You're all high and just think you're talking like real people about real stuff. But all you're really doing is talking shit and thinking its real - it's not, its shit. Y'all talking shit!"

And (as you and I both knew was coming) they all cheered and agreed they were just talking shit and how cool was I for seeing that, and saying that, and calling them all on it? Fucking Cool, that's how cool I was.  And then someone tried to High 5 me, which I ignored, but my wife caught it and soon they are all high fiving each other and telling the other guy next them what a cool guy I was. And he or she would nod and agree.

I swear I'm not making this up based on some drugged out dream state where I thought everyone worshipped me. They loved me, but Donald Trump could have probably walked in and they would have hugged him too. (Yes, we were at the hugging stage by this time). And then when Trump walked out they would have all said "Omigod! How cool was that - Trump was just here!" and then "I know he's a complete dick, and an asshole, but OMG how cool is he? He seemed so real..."

Drugs, stay off 'em kids.  They'll turn you into a Republican.

At midnight my wife decided we had to go home There & Then. None of the usual 'I need 20 minutes to exit the party because I need to say good bye to everyone' which usually mean 30 minutes because the last ten minutes are spent saying good bye again to the people she already said goodbye to at the beginning. Because 25 minutes ago we said goodbye to them but then we didn't leave straight away but we're leaving now so we have say goodbye to them. Again.

My wife decided we had to go because I'd been baiting her. I don't think she knew I was, but she knew if she stayed any longer she would get into trouble. If I wasn't there she would have stayed til 4am, after having probably gone to a club at 1am and then back to the Host's apartment at 3.30am (he was in the club part of town). But I was there and my wife (as I'd said to the plate holders, Mr RedBull and the Host, already) doesn't want me to see how far she lets hair down when she's with Her Harem (the fun name she's given the seven guys in her BNG pod).

I'd been baiting her by doing what I know the BNG boys do when I'm not there. I started urging my wife and her bestie to take their jackets off and dance for us, which they did. And then I told them to kiss while I took a photo with my wife's phone, which they did. And then her bestie started talking about threeways, and how she and my wife had shared a room on that infamous 'Last Night of the Retreat' and decided they had multiple options. Apparently all three of us would fuck each other in turns, while the third watched the other two go at it. And then when that was done we'd all go for it together to finish. 

And then my wife blurted out "and we decided if you couldn't manage it, if you weren't up to it, you could just fetch us drinks instead, because we'd need plenty of liquids to maintain stamina"

Hmmm, it doesn't take much to get my wife all lezzy, I thought to myself, for about the millionth time in our 25+ years together. I know my wife had drunk more than a few glasses of wine, and I'm pretty sure she only took one MDMA hit (and possibly a quick puff on that joint I saw passed around on the balcony) but she sobered up pretty quickly when saw her bestie wrap her arms around me and cuddle me. And then she grabbed my wife and pulled her in and tried to kiss us both.

That was when my wife decided it was time to escape! She's playful and she's flirty but once that sexy banter gets real she runs. Her bestie followed us out (I'd offered her a ride home since she was on the way) and then kissed me again at the door. Right on the smacker - but no tongue!

We got home fairly quickly and on the way I pondered the likelihood of us having sex. She normally gets frisky when she's high, followed by horny, and then sometimes 'Hellcat in the sack'. But not tonight. I think she was buzzing in a way that alarmed her. All she could say was (and she kept repeating it) "I'm so glad we left when did. That was about to get really messy. I could just see what was about to happen with those guys. All of them. We were right to get out when we did...."

And with that she kissed me good night and said "I'm gonna crash now, I'm soooo tired - don't stay up too late!" and then ran off (walked briskly TBH) to the stairs and off to bed she went. 

Which left me looking at the clock and wondering what I was gonna do at 12.43am.

So I sat down and banged out this post. In one go, really fast. Just typing away furiously. Non stop. Even though I had consumed a fair amount of beer, and cleaned up a few dinner plates. And I haven't done too badly if I say so myself. A bit long but that's what people do when they're high. They drivel on and think they're having really fascinating conversations with really fascinating people, like you  dear reader. Y'know - 'Keeping It Real!' 

But before I did all that I said to myself I will need an illustration to illustrate my post. I decided I would go to Twitter, scroll through my feed and the first pic that caught my eye I would download and use as my prompt for this post. And so I did. And I saw these three big breasted Asian cuties pictured above and immediately thought {BINGO!}. So I clicked on the image... at which point I saw the whole picture and got the surprise of my life.

Chicks with dicks are not my thing, but it did make me laugh. I love hentai (Japanese anime porn) but you see some seriously weird shit on the internet. Those are girls but they have dicks so they can fuck each other. Because apparently there are many many Japanese (and men around the world) who want to see girls have sex with each other but they also want to see those girls fucked by cocks so {VOILA!} they magically have cocks. But you're not gay for enjoying watching them fuck each other with their magic cocks, because they're chicks not she-males. Chicks with dicks is all.

But it's not my thing, so I couldn't write a story about it so I wrote the one I've just told you now instead. Which I will proof-read tomorrow because even though I might be dumb enough to drunk-blog I'm not #$%ing dumb enough to drunk-publish! Who knows what I'll think of this really real and great discussion in the morning? I hope it doesn't turn out I've been talking shit all this time?

Damn! How come it's 4am? How can that be? I typed this all in one sitting, non-stop, and I went really really fast....? 

Update ~ No major typos but 3,599 words? WTF?! How high was I last night?


  1. Woah Nero that was a post! I popped over to yours to see if you had published the final part of the RETREAT story - after reading this I think I know what that last part will entail. What a life you live! I was going to write a reply here about my experience with drugs and people with drugs but I decided it will be too long so may create a post as a reply. But i will say BAD BOY - dont let it happen again!

    1. Mmmm - I think I might enjoy a good scolding from you. And maybe a bit of punishment :-)

      I actually very rarely take drugs (easy to do if you can stick to the rule 'never buy drugs') especially once I got older. I accepted the offers on Friday night simply because I wanted to hear what my wife got up to on her retreat with these guys. I figured they'd loosen up more if I didn't come across as an old fuddy duddy. It really was a funny night and I remained in control. We left at midnight while they stayed up partying til 4am apparently.
      So did I as it turned out - writing that screed above!! (It didn't seem that long when I wrote it!)

    2. Incase your readers want to take a lot at my reply - here it is -

    3. You beat me to it! (I was gonna link to yours)

  2. Great post Nero. I love your fishing, and I (still) definitely think I don't need to try drugs from what you describe goes on! Like May says, we're getting a good idea now of what happened at the end of your wife's BNG China trip, but please tell it properly for us!

    1. The final installment may be a bit of a disappointment then, since I don't think she did any drugs (but the others did). Here's the final part of that story:


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