|Is this image too much? Maybe if I placed further down the post instead? Answers in the comments below, TY!|
You'll note I said 'sex bits' and not 'sexy bits'. That's because I didn't find it particularly sexy since I had a terrible head cold (and still do) which means my nose is running all the time. Actually today is a little better, but on Wednesday I was drinking a lot of water to stay hydrated and it was all going straight to my nose. And then out.
If that paints an unsexy picture in your head then try to imagine how horny my wife must have been to suggest in the late afternoon that we resume our 'scheduled sex' program ("since it's Wednesday") with a little oral sex later that night?
It went down like this:
My daughter is going to a Prom this Friday night (tonight) - not hers, but as a date with one of her friends from her old High School. My wife never went to Prom so she is going all out on this one ie living vicariously through our daughter. As well as paying for the dress our daughter ordered online (Surprise! It's shit quality so we need to spend more money to get it altered/fixed because there's no time to get a new one) my wife has also organized someone to come in and do hair and makeup for my daughter.
A day after booking the MUA (that stands for Make Up Artist, if you didn't know - I did, thanks to Instagram) my daughter was offered (via a call to my wife) free 'waxing' from a local salon. They were looking for 'models' for their trainees to practice on, so my wife said yes and booked two spots - one for my daughter and one for her BFF.
None of this was told to me directly, but it was stuff I picked up on as I overhead various phone calls and discussions between my wife and my daughter. Apparently my wife was trying to schedule these appointments but the BFF kept changing her availability, until at the eleventh hour she cancelled completely. I suspect it was because at only 16 years old the BFF decided she was too young to get a Brazilian wax?
Not that I knew it was that specifically, but I knew the BFF well enough to know she wasn't hirsute and had no real need of waxing so I figured it could only be 'there'. And no, I did not spend any time thinking about it because "Ew!" And ditto about my daughter as well. All I was really focussed on was why was my wife working so hard to get these girls 'free waxing'? I know she like networking and connecting people but this was taking the 'Cool Mom' thing a bit far, amiright?
Nero you promised us the sex story, not more preamble - get on with it!
I mention this only because [a] am I the only one who thinks its weird for a mother to organize a 'waxing' for her 16 y.o. daughter for a Prom, and [b] since the BFF cancelled my wife took the appointment and got her pussy waxed instead. Something I did not know until 3pm on Wednesday when my wife came home from the appointment with the trainee. She had to pick up our daughter at 4pm for her appointment (apparently they had only one trainee doing the 'free waxing') but before she left she gave me a cuddle and said to me, as she gazed lovingly into my eyes:
"Today is Wednesday"
Yes, it is
"I was thinking... maybe... we could... y'know..."
No, I don't know. What?
"Well, maybe we could reinstitute Sex Night tonight, since we haven't done it in a while"
("In a while?" I said to myself, but not out loud "It's been three #$%ing months!")
"I've just had my pussy waxed... and I know how you wanted to eat me while it's fresh..."
I gave her a big hug and said 'Yes, I do' but inwardly I was screaming "Oh, FUCK!!!" because at 2.55pm I was ejaculating into my hand after watching some elf creature get fucked in all three holes by some tentacled alien monster on YouPorn. I was literally cleaning myself up as my wife drove into our garage, which really killed my post-orgasm buzz. If only she'd told me before going to her appointment!
Honestly, all I could think about was: Where the fuck did this come from? Why did she decide now to start having sex again? Was it because she'd had some young woman between her legs for half an hour ripping all her pubes out? Did all that blood rushing to her pussy stir her loins? Was it the pain that stirred her loins? Why now, FFS? I've just cum and she wants me to fuck her later - Sweet Jeebus, WHY NOW????
Seriously, there was no joy or elation that the sex drought was over - just fear. I'm over 50 and I've just ejaculated. I'm as sick as a dog and she knows it but she still wants us to have sex? How do I go down on a woman with a nose running like a faucet? Once I've made her come with my mouth she's gonna want me to make her come again with my cock - what if I can't manage that? I'm not well!
My wife left for the 4pm appointment and I drank lots of water, hoping to flush my head cold out. I had a shower before dinner and changed into my pajamas. After dinner I stopped drinking water and continued sniffling and sneezing until there was nothing left to give. I watched TV as my wife helped our daughter clean out her closets, which she'd agreed to do in return for us paying for her dress.
At 10pm my wife came downstairs, wearing nothing but a long t-shirt that only just covered her ass.
"So..." she said coyly, "how are you feeling? Are you up for a little pussy lickin'?"
You know I am, I replied, even though I didn't feel great and wasn't in the least bit horny. I figured after a 3 month drought now was not the time to say I wasn’t actually thirsty. Who knows when she might offer me a drink again?
I pushed her down on the sofa, in the middle of the 'V' partof the 'L' shaped couch in our TV room. Positioning her on her back I kissed her lips, nuzzled her neck, and then dropped to my knees on the floor. Propped languidly on the multitude of cushions we keep on the large sofa she spread her legs a little wider, displaying herself in a wanton manner. She said nothing but gave me 'the look'. The look that said both 'what are you going to do now?' and 'I know what you're going do now!'
I lifted the hem of her t-shirt slowly, teasing both of us as her smooth bare pussy came in to view...
And I will tell you the rest of the story on Monday - and since it's Masturbation Monday I promise I'll write it in a sexy erotic manner. No angst or expressions of self doubt to get in the way of an episode that included oral sex for everyone, his 'n her sex toys, intercourse, and anal to finish. Honestly, I'm not trying to drag this out, I'm not trying to write a shaggy dog story, I just need to get it all out. And for that reason I'll tell you now:
As I watched her slide that vibrator in and out of her sopping wet pussy like a dildo I thought to myself "I've never seen her do it like that before. She normally just vibes her clit - when did she start doing it this way? How did she learn that trick? What did she get up to on her retreat/conference in South China"
But I'll spare you my inner monologue on Monday, I promise. Just the full-on sexy version...