Monday, July 23, 2018

A Vacation Confession for #MasturbationMonday

So it’s been two days since I got home from my grand European vacation. Three weeks in Europe -who were experiencing a heatwave and having the best weather ever, according to locals. It was great. In the two days I’ve been back I’ve masturbated twice - once each day - which is about as much sex as I had in the three weeks I was away.

A sexy image for Monday Bun Day!
Yes, we had sex once on the cruise ship (it wasn’t good) while our daughter was sunbathing on deck during a ‘sea day’* and I also jerked off once while my wife and daughter were both sunbathing on deck during another ‘sea day’.  That also wasn’t a very satisfactory orgasm since I had to do it in a cramped toilet (bathrooms are not big on cruises ships - at least not in our cabin!) and I had no way of knowing how much time I had.

My instincts proved correct since my daughter actually did return to the cabin about two minutes after I finished my rudimentary wank.

The second to last night before the cruise finished we met a couple in a bar who we’d bumped into several times on the cruise (at that same cocktail bar). They were both previously divorced and amazed (as many people are) at how long we’ve been married (and how young we looked for our age). The woman suddenly blurted out “I meant to ask, I’ve been wondering, um, how do you guys find time to... y’know... if your daughter is sharing a cabin with you?”

She meant how did we manage to fuck while our daughter was with us 24/7 and without missing a beat my wife said “oh y’know how it is. Our daughter is 16 and all she wants to do is sunbathe on deck and hang out online with her social media friends. So it’s not really a problem”. She giggled and looked at me as she squeezed my inner thigh, indicating to the woman that we were at it like rabbits every chance we got.

Which pissed me off of course since it was the absolute opposite of what was going to. It was even more cutting to know that my wife knew sex was possible on a cruise ship even if your daughter was sharing a cabin with you, but she just wasn’t interested. My wife had rebuffed my efforts consistently, with the exception of the one time she acquiesced - which of course was not great because it was clear she was acquiescing.

But like a good husband I did not tell the other couple the truth, so that my wife could maintain her ‘Love Boat’ fantasy of being a glamorous jet set woman on an international cruise having hot and steamy sex in a new and exotic location every night. But neither did I join in on the charade. I finished my drink and told my wife I was going back to the cabin to see where our daughter was. It was midnight and we had no idea where she went after dinner. This had become the pattern in the second week, after my daughter had discovered some other ‘teenagers’ on the ship.

Our last four vacation days were spent in Barcelona (post cruise) which were mostly spent either shopping or lounging by the pool. Once again there seemed to be no interest on my wife’s part in having sex, even when my daughter said she was heading off on her own for four hours to take photos on the beach. I didn’t think that was safe but my wife insisted our daughter would be fine in an upmarket public tourist area and we needed to show her we trusted her.

I had to agree the beach was well policed and my little head over-ruled my big head. I thought my wife was so insistent because she wanted us to have sex in our very luxurious 6 star hotel room once our daughter was gone. Silly me, because as soon as she left so did my wife. Down to the pool to read her book and finish her tan.

So I stayed in the room a while longer and watched porn on my iPad. And then I filmed myself watching the porn and jerking off. You can read about that story here. It was pretty wild and I managed to film it all (including showing you what porn I was watching) without showing my face. The room had mirrors on three walls so it looked quite cinemagraphic.

So I guess that means I had sex three times in the three weeks I was away. And twice in the two days since I’ve been back. I suspect that is my lot from now on.  Masturbation.  It could be worse. At least I can still get my dick up, even if it is only for solitary pleasure. I wonder how old I’ll be when it gives up the ghost and stops working entirely?


*a sea day is when the cruise ship isn’t docked at a port and is on its way to the next destination.
This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for more stories like mine!


  1. hmm - i dont like boats! glad u home ;-)

  2. This does sound frustrating for you, but my family holiday is proving of a similar vein. OH may think I'm staying up late til he falls asleep - it's not deliberate but it has happened that way so far. Then he gets up early (cos he cant lie in) and goes for a run in the morning. I hope that you enjoyed other aspects of your holiday than the missed opportunities for intimacy! Glad you are home to your internet porn and film room. I shall try to watch your film at some point - thanks for sharing! x

    1. Frustrating but I really am over it now. :-)

  3. Ugh, I hate that for you. Sex with yourself is nice but it's definitely not the same.


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